From Here to Eternity

The day of September 13, 2011 was the beginning of an incredible experience.  I flew to Utah to help take care of my mother and dad.  Mom was under the care of Alpine hospice as she lived out her life of 83 years. Six of my sisters and my sister-in-law would train me to be a caregiver.  We worked in shifts so that 2 sisters would be at Mom's side at all times.  During the next 3 weeks I came to love my sisters (included in 'sisters' is my sweet sister-in-law) as I had never before.  We fed my mother, helped bathe her, helped with bathroom duties, administered medication, rubbed her aging body with lotion, and loved her.

She loved it when a grandchild would come for a visit.  She loved it even more when a grandchild would bring her great-grandchildren.

We learned from the hospice nurse, Dana, what to look for as Mom would approach her final hours.  It was a gift to us during her last week that she had that spurt of energy that is common with most hospice patients. We helped her walk again into her room to see if Dad had made his bed, to see if the kitchen was clean, to look out the front door at her neighborhood, and to watch her beloved BYU football team on television.

The day we took her for a ride in the wheelchair outside was wonderful.  She even sat at the table with me and Dad for dinner.  She had yogurt.

One day she spotted my bag of Hershey kisses.  She wanted one.  I asked her if she wanted to split one with me. (She had trouble swallowing so we were careful what to give her.)  She wanted a whole one!  She savored it as she sat on the edge of the bed with Dad.

As I said, I came to take care of my Mom AND Dad.  Dad and I would slip out when we could and go for a walk.  I love my Dad so much.

The priests from the ward would bring the Sacrament to the house each Sunday.  Mom was really looking forward to it the Sunday before she died.  She was feeling good and wanted to look her best.  She wanted her white socks, not the blue hospital things.  I walked her into her room so she could choose a white sweater to put over her nightgown.  We found her purse so she could apply a little make-up.  The organ bench in the living room had been serving as the "sacrament table."  This day Mom wanted a cover on it; a white cover.  Jana found a white pilow slip.  Mom wanted lace.  I found a white lace tablecloth in the dining hutch.  Now she was ready to partake of the emblems of her Savior.  She read the Church News while waiting for the priests.

Each time Mom would get chilled she had the choice of 2 blankets.  Karen had made her a warm, green, furry, velour blanket.  She asked for this one when she was very cold.  The rest of the time she was covered in roses.  Stephanie had made a rose quilt top so I had found some rose fabric and tied a quilt for Mom for Mother's Day.

Mom's roses continued to bloom outside.  Vic Oldroyd would pick her one every time he and his wife brought dinner.  We tried to keep one of her roses in a vase on the table ("but not on the piano!") by her side.

The Wednesday before she died, Yvonne suggested we to read to her from her scriptures.  I found her scriptures and asked her if we should read.  She said, "That sounds like a good idea."  I started in Alma 39.  I cried through Alma 40.  She fell asleep in Alma 41.

The amazing week began to come to a close.  She was sitting on the lazyboy with family on Thursday night.  On Friday morning she could barely sit up.  Dana came and saw the signs of the end.  Preparations were made.  Mom had a rough Friday and worse Saturday.  The beginning of the end began at 5:00 am Sunday morning.  Family started arriving.  There were plenty of grandchildren and children surrounding her bed as Dad sat by her side, holding her hand.  Brad was the last to arrive at 1:00.  Karen and Melinda were 'there' on cell phones placed near Mom's head.  We all had a chance to tell her how much we loved her.  I know she could hear us.  As Melinda spoke to her over the phone held by her ear, a tear ran down her cheek.  Yes.  She could hear us.  At 1:15 we sang to her as a family.  We sang, "I am a Child of God", "My Heavenly Father Loves Me," and "I Wonder When He Comes Again."  Dad had his hand on her stomach with her hand on his.  He was holding her other hand.  Her breathing was becoming very shallow and slow.  At 1:30 she slipped into Paradise and into the arms of her waiting parents and brother, Don.

I am so grateful to have been able to serve my dear mother during her last 3 weeks.  She taught me so much.  Every time she woke up she would ask what time it was.  She wanted to make sure my Dad had eaten a meal or had his carbs.  One evening after singing to her she opened her eyes and said we should all go to bed.  She never thought of herself.  Always everyone else.

Mom lived what she believed.  "Love One Another."

The magnet on her fridge is Mom's life.

"LOVE IS THE ANSWER NO MATTER THE QUESTION."

I love you, Mom.