Wisdom

Forgot where I got this, but I love it and can relate.

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 10 pounds.
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting use to yesterday along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything and then I regain consciousness.
Amazing!  You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes.
Skinny people irritate me.  Especially when they say things like...'You know.  Sometimes I forget to eat.'...Now I have forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have NEVER forgotten to eat.  You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast.  Are they kidding?  That's my idea of a perfect day.